America Needs Sarah Palin!!!!

"AMERICA NEEDS SARAH PALIN!!!!"
- comment by Ralph


"GOVERNOR SARAH PALIN’S AND CINDY MCCAIN'S (RESCUING A LOST HINDU CHILD FROM SLAVES OF THE ROMAN POPE WHO HAS BEEN EXPOSED AS AN AGENT OF PIAPS!!!) ANNOINTED TESTIMONY HAS BROUGHT CONVICTION TO THOSE OF US WHO LOVE AMERICA!!!!!!!

SOUL-WINNING, MOUNTAIN-MOVING, DEVIL-KICKING, PIAPS-DEFEATING, AMERICA-STRENGTHENING, RAPTURE-READY REVIVAL ACROSS THE LAND!!!!!"

From Americaphile, Ralph's Website



"...before everyone gets all smug and self-righteous about the Palin selection, remember where you live. You live in a nation of gun owners and hunters. You live in a country where one out of three girls get pregnant before they are 20. You live in a nation of C students. Knocking Bush for being a C student only endeared him to the nation of C students. Knock Palin for having kids, for having a kid who's having a baby, for anything that is part of her normalness -- a normalness that looks very familiar to so many millions of Americans -- well, you do this at your own peril. Assuming she's still on the ticket two weeks from now, she will be a much tougher opponent than anyone expects. You live in a country that voted for Dan Quayle..."

- Random Thoughts from Michael Moore, 2 September 2008

(Pic credit: Something Awful)

Watch Sarah Palin Squirm

Sarah Palin. Steely, controlled, resolute. That's what we've been served by the RNC. That's all we've seen of her: one speech from the best writers money can by; gushing packages from Fox News; fawning from the Religious Right, falling over themselves to claim her as their own...

Wanna see her squirm?

Hat tip to the lovely Andrew Sullivan for putting me on to Mudflats, a blog on Alaskan politics for whom Christmas, Hanukkah and Duvali seem to have come all at once together. It's latest report dishes the latest dirt on the Troopergate scandal, and links to this must-see ABC item featuring some pricelessly cringe-worthy body language from T-XMrs Palin.



There's lots more of this to come I'm sure...

And in other news (Denyse O'Leary stylee)...

• McCain/Palin don't hate TEH GAYZ - wait until the whacko fundies realize that...
  
  
• Todd Palin's former business partner files an emergency motion to have his divorce papers sealed... What can this mean?
  
  
• Is Sarah Palin hiding from the media? Already!?
  
  
• Have you voted in PTET's Glamarous Gran Contest!?

...Thanks for stopping by :)

Glamorous Gran Contest

As a long-time feminist and atheist blogger, I'm often asked "which conservative matriarch do you think is hawtest"? The truth is, gentle readers, I like them all equally. However, we can't all be winners in life, and with that in mind I bring you PTET's first Glamorous Grandmother Contest.

The candidates await your verdict:

Cindy McCain
Pros: Funny, rubber face, good with knots
Cons: Plasters on the makeup like a trollop c__t


Sarah Palin
Pros: The future of the Republican Party
Cons: Almost certainly a killer robot


Denyse O'Leary
Pros: Lifetime supply of maple syrup
Cons: Peccadillo for flowery collars


Rexella Van Impe
Pros: I. Heart. Rexella.
Cons: That pesky Jack...


"Big" Mo Harris
Pros: My sister dreamt she was Mo's girlfriend
Cons: Not really a conservative matriarch


Vote now on the right side-bar poll. Use it or lose it!

HIV: A Ghibelline Plot!?

New Scientist asks, Did the Romans destroy Europe's HIV resistance?:

"The hand of history has a very long reach. It appears that the Roman Empire left a legacy that may still affect modern Europe - those living within its conquered lands are more susceptible to HIV. It could explain why a gene that confers resistance to HIV varies in frequency across the continent."

I already knew the Roman Empire was responsible for EU - and therefore the Anti-Christ, Eurovision and interfering with our bananas... But now HIV/AIDS as well?

Tis naught but a dastardly Ghibelline plot!

Sarah Palin: Right Wing Hypocrisy

Here's some unmissable John Stewart, on the staggering, breathtaking, eye-popping hypocrisy of the right wing over the Sarah Palin story...



Truly, Fox News is Satan's own network.



HT: Christopher Sisk.

Sarah Palin Shot Mom

HT: Cute Overload for the pic & LOLcat Buildr for tech.

Palin’s sanctity of life

Sir, In his article... about Sarah Palin, John McCain’s running-mate, Chris Ayres mentions her “steadfast belief in the sanctity of life”. Given the pictures illustrating the piece [of Palin with animals she has shot], I find it extremely hard to believe this.

Margaret Leonard
Reading

From The Times, London, 4 & 5 September 2008.

Every Time You Leave A Comment, God Spares A Kitten

When I asked for more comments, I didn't expect anything as insanely crazy as this one, about my wee Sarah Palin/Jesus pic:

"Most woman do not get pregnant from being raped because of the shock and if a woman does get pregnant then it is the will of God for the child to come to this earth and love is present during any conception." - Anonymous

Wowser.

Let's leave the horrible facts about rape to one side.

"Love is present during any conception".

WTF?

On second thoughts, let's not leave the facts about rape to one side. Without emergency contraception, there is around a 15% chance of rape resulting in pregnancy amongst adolescents. So, according to our anonymous commentator, it's the will of God for around 15% of teenage rape victims to get pregnant.

Can you feel the infinite love?

I'd feel a lot angrier about this all if it wasn't for a wonderful line I read today at Freethinker.co.uk, from Dr Richard Harries, former Bishop of Oxford:

"...more than two-thirds of fertilised eggs are lost in nature... If each of these is really a person, that is, an eternal soul, it would lead to the absurd conclusion that heaven is mainly populated by people who have never been born."

Yup, there go those pesky facts again, getting in the way of ignorant, bigotted, f__kwits.

But hey. I should and I do thank "anonymous" for stopping by. Remember, kids, every time you leave a comment, God spares a kitten...




Edited to clarify the 15% stat applies to adolescents

Is Sarah Palin Rapture Ready?

Don't miss PTET's full SARAH PALIN coverage & rapture news!



Apparently one in four Americans though it was at least "somewhat likely" that Jesus would return to Earth in 2007. Unless I missed something, there's got to be a lot of disappointed people out there. Maybe next year?

In that vein, I wondered what God's own candidate for Vice President, Sarah Palin, thought of the matter. After all, if people are going to vote for her, it would be nice to know whether she'd intend sticking around for a whole four year term, or if she might vanish up at any moment, eaten by Cthulhu... Erm, I mean, taken up by the Lord.

A look around Google generated more heat than light on the topic. Sure, if she's not a "Dominionist Stalking Horse" she certainly looks like one...

And when you see Palin invoke God and the baby Jebus, as she did addressing her Church earlier this year, it's easy to suspect that she's a religious nut...



...But you know what? I don't buy that. I don't think Palin actually believes that "The Rapture" is imminent, or that Jebus wants world war three, or in teaching creationism or ID alongside evolution, or that rape vicims should be denied emergency contraception, or any of that bullshit.

I think Palin's cheer-leading for Christianity is political expediency, just as it is for Barak Obama and John McCain, and just as it was for George W. Bush.

Don't believe me? Then think what George W. Bush delivered for the evangelical community in the USA. Sweet F.A., that's what. That' also what a McCain/Palin presidency would deliver too.

Sure, if Palin actually does believe what her Church preaches about the End of Days and religion's proper role in American government, then everyone should be terrified. Luckily, I'm sure she doesn't.


UPDATE 9 SEPTEMBER:

'[Palin as Governor of Alaska] has basically ignored social issues, period," said Gregg Erickson, an economist and columnist for the Alaska Budget Report.' - Lake Wylie Pilot

Don't miss PTET's full SARAH PALIN coverage & rapture news!

Like Sarah Palin, Jesus was never done

"Like Sarah Palin, Jesus was never done hunting moose or fighting for the rights of rapists to choose who would carry their child".

(The original image apparently comes from passtheammo.com, who may not appreciate the credit.)



MORE ON SARAH PALIN!

Theologyweb. Worst. Forum. Evar.

Screw you, lilpixieofterror.

Palin Noob?

I saw this, and for some reason I thought of Sarah Palin...

My God Is Bigger Than Your God

All hail Youtube and Spitting Image. This seems to be from the late 80s. Or last month if you are a YEC.

Keyword Analysis Beat Poetry 1a

grantura you ask
pet blog? ptet blog
pet, ptet denyse o'leary
wikipedia? god of time
questions, questions
questions intelligent design can't answer
who said people are intrinsically bad?
let me, let me
let me get this straight, you believe
you believe that a cosmic jewish zombie
pets george orwell?
grantura yes, TVR no
uncommon descent?
uncommonly dense
cthulhu children's
cthulhu's children
slough, bililiad
cthulhu loves the little children
questions science can't answer
questions religion cant answer
j.p holding vs armstrong
ptet 2008, jp holding
buddhist brushes
wanking in knicker drawers?
a dastardly ghibelline plot!

All hail Letters In Exile for the idea, for inspiration & for general coolitude

Who the feck is Sarah Palin?

Here's what I've learned about Sarah Palin.

• She supports abstinence-only sex education
  
  
• Her 17 year old daughter got pregnant out of wedlock
  
  
• She recklessly put the health of her unborn Downs syndrome baby at risk, flying eight hours whilst in labor (and without telling the airline)
  
  
• She would oppose abortion even if her own daughter was raped
  

I really do not get Conservative Christians. Maybe I just need to "believe"?

For any fellow non-colonials out there, here's the briefings you need to see. First up, John Stewart:



And then this bit of genius, from Stephen Colbert:



Only in America... I think!?

Power Of Prayer

<

All hail Mike Baldwin.

Denyse: Doubleplusgood Duckspeaker

Sometimes I think that "Intelligent Design Creationists" must be just un-be-frikkin'-leivably stupid. Other times I think they must be pathological liars. Normally, however, in the interests of brotherly love, I'm prepared to accept that they're just un-be-frikkin'-leivably stupid pathological liars.

Could I be wrong?

Let's take Denyse O'Leary as a example.

Sure, only a blithering idiot would say that intellect confers no evolutionary advantage... But I don't really think that Denyse O'Leary has the mental ability of, say, a four year old.

And certainly, when Denyse says that evolutionary science needs a "paramedic", she's being dishonest about not only her own qualifications to talk about the subject, but also the opinions of practically every biologist working in the field, who will confirm this is simply not true.

But if these positions are not based on either mental deficiencies or deliberate falsehoods, maliciously intended to deceive... Then what is going on?

Today it hit me. It's not really about actual dishonesty or actual stupidity. In fact, it's not about thought at all.

Here's George Orwell from "1984", on what he called Duckspeak:

"Ultimately it was hoped to make articulate speech issue from the larynx without involving the higher brain centres at all. This aim was frankly admitted in the Newspeak word duckspeak […]. Like various words in the B vocabulary, duckspeak was ambivalent in meaning. Provided that the opinions which were quacked out were orthodox ones, it implied nothing but praise, and when the Times referred to one of the orators of the Party as a doubleplusgood duckspeaker it was paying a warm and valued compliment."

I am, of course, being facetious. But you get my point...

Slough is Hell: It's Official

"Come, friendly bombs, and fall on Slough!
It isn't fit for humans now,
There isn't grass to graze a cow.
Swarm over, Death!"

- John Betjeman, 1937


For a time I lived in Slough, a small town just west of London. It's one of those places which feels slightly doomed, like it's built on anti-ley-lines... Like they could bulldoze the place to the ground and build the most wonderful landscape on top of it, and it would still be a bit crap.

Now any doubts about Slough's status can be put to rest by this local BBC news weather report, showing an average daily temperature near the town of 232ºC (450ºF). Proof that it is indeed, Hell on Earth.

Cosmic Jewish Zombie Jesus

An old joke done well. (Found at En Tequila Es Verdad who saw it on Bay of Fundie).

Jesus is the Reason for the V-sign

HT: Fail Blog.

Dark Knight - A World Without Rules

A couple of days back, I went to see The Dark Knight, at the Imax in Glasgow.

I wanted to blog about its themes of vigilantism, criminality and personal responsibility; and its exploration of the corruption of power, the need for heroes, and moral ambiguity...

But all I can think about is my friend leaving his empty sweet wrapper on the floor as went to leave the theatre.

Maybe he'd been dazzled by the gargantuan screen, the foudroyant special effects, the ear-jarring digital stereo?

I picked up the wrapper and gave it to him.

He dropped it again. "They clean up the place", he said. "I paid eight quid", he said.

I picked the wrapper up again, and put it in the bin on the way out.

St Denyse of O'Leary Blows Off

Reading Denyse O'Leary is like watching a four year old play fight. She's constantly swinging at enemies which don't exist except in her head.

Over at Uncommonly Dense (and linked farmed, natch, at every one of her 31 other blogs), Denyse takes a pop at

"The currently raging Darwin cult".

She actually calls her post Preach it, brother! A regular shower of blessings from Saint Charles Darwin.

What the ____ is she talking about?

What Darwin cult?

Where is there a Darwin cult except in the mind of Mrs O'Leary?

Here's a clue - it doesn't exist.

Most of O'Leary's post is made up of a lengthy quote from Hiram Caton, author of a new book on the "real" Charles Darwin.

To be sure, Caton makes fun of Richard Dawkins and militant atheism... But there is nothing about Dawkins' personal reverence for Darwin which pretends that he's anything other than human.

Further, Dawkins doesn't talk for all scientists, yet alone all atheists. O'Leary actually has Caton saying as much (my emphasis):

"Dawkins thinks... Natural selection has given us the big brain capable of emancipating ourselves from our apelike past... Well, not all evolutionists agree. There is another point of view at his own Oxford University, where the Ian Ramsey Centre for Science and Religion is in the midst of an extensive, well-funded investigation of the evolutionary origins of religion."

Here's the problem. In the fantabulous world of Denyse O'Leary's head, evolutionary science is an unchanging religion called "Darwinism", with Charles Darwin as its prophet and Richard Dawkins as its High Priest. O'Leary apparently genuinely and sincerely believes that the personal failings of Mr Darwin or Mr Dawkins lessen the validity of evolutionary science. In her febrile imagination, "Darwinism" is about to crumble, and Intelligent Design Creationism will magically replace it by default.

This is, of course, utter bull____.

In Caton's view, religion has played an important role in human development, and Dawkins overplays the ability of Darwin's explanations to answer life's questions.

So what?

Denyse O'Leary is being fundamentally dishonest with herself and her readers by pretending that Caton thinks evolutionary science is itself in any way under threat.

He himself writes on the website plugging his book:

"This is not to suggest that we discard Darwin as a hero of science and secularisation. Far from it. But since our commitment to rationality obliges us to get it right, let’s replace the legendary Darwin by the real man and his times."

Memo to Denyse O'Leary: this does not help Intelligent Design Creationism.

The Sneer Review published a graphic this week which Mrs O'Leary and her readers would do well to dwell on.

And yet still, St. Denyse fights on...

Evolution Cthulhu Style

Who says evolution is purposeless?

Cthulhu is the Way!

HT: cthulhu.com.

Cthulhu is the Way

Hello. I am PTET.

Just recently, people from all over the world have been visiting my blog to see a picture I found of a little girl sitting on the lap of a cthulhoid monster.

I wondered if this was telling me something.

After all, everywhere we look we see signs of the end of days...

War...
Famine...
Pestilance...
The anti-christ walking the earth...

Personally, I think that all this interest in Cthulhu can only mean one thing. The time is coming for the Great Old One to rise from his lair deep beneath R'lyeh and to come at last and eat us all.

For it is written in the Necronomicon that at the proper time:-

"the secret priests would take great Cthulhu from His tomb to revive His subjects and resume His rule of earth....Then mankind would have become as the Great Old Ones; free and wild and beyond good and evil, with laws and morals thrown aside and all men shouting and killing and revelling in joy. Then the liberated Old Ones would teach them new ways to shout and kill and revel and enjoy themselves, and all the earth would flame with a holocaust of ecstasy and freedom."

Doesn't that sound like fun?


The thing I really like about Cthulhu is that his message is so simple: you are irrelevant and I will eat you.

There's no "five pillars" or "eight-fold path" to worry about. There's no "Jesus" and his bipolar Dad. If Jesus *does* come back, Cthulhu will eat him, just like he'll eat you.

Cthulhu doesn't care if you are black, white, brown or yellow. He loathes us all equally. But it's deeper than that - our very existence is irrelevant to him.

Cthulhu gives us a very simple choice. We can either worry so much about being rendered limb from limb in an orgy of unspeakable destruction that we go completely insane - or we can just get on with our lives.

It doesn't matter if bad things happen. If someone is nasty to you, just think "What would Cthulhu do"? He'd eat them. Just like he'll eat you.

So what can you do to prepare for Cthulhu's return? It doesn't matter. Whether you run away or line up for orderly disposal, he's going to eat you anyway.

In the meantime, we should live our lives well and responsibly... We're human, not monsters. And remember, never hurt anyone in Cthulhu's name. After all, our very hearts belong to him... Along with our lungs, spleens, livers, brains and kidneys.

Cthulhu is the way. Why choose the lesser evil?





If you're ready to accept your inevitable doom,
send in your comment or video now. Just say
"I'm ready to be eaten by Cthulhu".

Cthulhu loves the little children,
All the children of the world...
Baked or boiled, steamed or fried,
In the sauce or on the side,
Cthulhu loves the children of the world.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu
R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

Denying Evolution

All hail Spacefish from B3ta.


EDIT: Thanks for visiting PTET!
Be sure to check out Rexella explaining the Rapture ...