"...I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me..." [Deuteronomy 5:8-10]

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Cthulhu is the Way

Hello. I am PTET.

Just recently, people from all over the world have been visiting my blog to see a picture I found of a little girl sitting on the lap of a cthulhoid monster.

I wondered if this was telling me something.

After all, everywhere we look we see signs of the end of days...

The anti-christ walking the earth...

Personally, I think that all this interest in Cthulhu can only mean one thing. The time is coming for the Great Old One to rise from his lair deep beneath R'lyeh and to come at last and eat us all.

For it is written in the Necronomicon that at the proper time:-

"the secret priests would take great Cthulhu from His tomb to revive His subjects and resume His rule of earth....Then mankind would have become as the Great Old Ones; free and wild and beyond good and evil, with laws and morals thrown aside and all men shouting and killing and revelling in joy. Then the liberated Old Ones would teach them new ways to shout and kill and revel and enjoy themselves, and all the earth would flame with a holocaust of ecstasy and freedom."
Doesn't that sound like fun?

The thing I really like about Cthulhu is that his message is so simple: you are irrelevant and I will eat you.

There's no "five pillars" or "eight-fold path" to worry about. There's no "Jesus" and his bipolar Dad. If Jesus *does* come back, Cthulhu will eat him, just like he'll eat you.

Cthulhu doesn't care if you are black, white, brown or yellow. He loathes us all equally. But it's deeper than that - our very existence is irrelevant to him.

Cthulhu gives us a very simple choice. We can either worry so much about being rendered limb from limb in an orgy of unspeakable destruction that we go completely insane - or we can just get on with our lives.

It doesn't matter if bad things happen. If someone is nasty to you, just think "What would Cthulhu do"? He'd eat them. Just like he'll eat you.

So what can you do to prepare for Cthulhu's return? It doesn't matter. Whether you run away or line up for orderly disposal, he's going to eat you anyway.

In the meantime, we should live our lives well and responsibly... We're human, not monsters. And remember, never hurt anyone in Cthulhu's name. After all, our very hearts belong to him... Along with our lungs, spleens, livers, brains and kidneys.

Cthulhu is the way. Why choose the lesser evil?


If you're ready to accept your inevitable doom,
send in your comment or video now. Just say
"I'm ready to be eaten by Cthulhu".

Cthulhu loves the little children,
All the children of the world...
Baked or boiled, steamed or fried,
In the sauce or on the side,
Cthulhu loves the children of the world.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu
R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!


Anonymous said...

Does anyone know where this picture was taken? I want to take my daughter there and get her picture taken with Cthulhu.


PTET said...

Hi anonymous!

It seems the original image come from Eastern Europe via Bob Basset.

If anyone has any more information please let me know :)

Anonymous said...

Cthulu will end up in the lake of fire.