Chomsky on Palin

SPIEGEL: Do you prefer the team on the other side: the 72 year old Vietnam veteran McCain and Sarah Palin, former Alaskan beauty queen?

Chomsky: This Sarah Palin phenomenon is very curious. I think somebody watching us from Mars, they would think the country has gone insane.


(HT LGF for this quote from Der Speigel).

Cthulhu Dawn

My latest Scratch project...

Comments & suggestions welcome :)

Is Rexella loaded!?

I was scouring the latest (27 Sep) edition of Jack Van Impe Presents for news of The Rapture, Sarah Palin, Cthulhu and what have you, and what did I see?


Rexella looks rather the worse for wear. Is she loaded? She can't be drunk, surely? (Here's highlights. Watch for yourself). It must be some sort of virus. Yes, that's it!



We heart you Rexella! Get well soon!

Jack Van Impe on Sarah Palin, World War III

Jack Van Impe briefly mentions Sarah Palin in this extract from his latest programme, discussing the Rapture and World War III.



The highlights:

• Jack Van Impe is from the same spiritual family as the Assemblies of God, Sarah Palin's church until the age of 38
  
• The world is not going to "End". Jesus will return to rule over this Earth.
  
• The Rapture is imminent. The "faithful" will be eaten by Cthulhutaken by Jesus in the twinkling of an eye. The rest of us will be left behind
  
• After the rapture, the European Union will broker peace in the Middle East
  
• Russia will end the peace, bringing nuclear war
  
• Russia's armies will be decimated
  
• An army of two billion Chinese will join the conflict
  
• Seven years after the Rapture, Jesus will return to end the War and bring peace in a thousand year reign (so, presumably, we needn't worry about the environment 'cause God will fix it)
  
  

Watch in awe as Jack grins over the deaths of hundreds of millions of people and, presumably, the smoking remains of Israel.

Sarah Palin apparently has "deep religious convictions". She's been described as a Young Earth Creationist who is adamant that Jesus will return in her lifetime. So does she, like Jack Van Impe, think that World War III is just around the corner? It would be nice to know, one way or the other.

More on Sarah Palin
More Jack & Rexella Van Impe
Rexella explains the Cthulhu Rapture

Is Sarah Palin Cthulhu in disguise!?

Does anyone really care whether Sarah Palin believes in the rapture?

There are more important questions, surely.

Such as: Is Sarah Palin the great Old One Cthulhu in disguise?

You be the judge:



We have the right to know.

I demand that Sean Hannity asks Governor Palin to answer this vital question in his next interview.

Sarah Palin *is* Rapture Ready

In previous posts, I've opined that Sarah Palin wasn't crazy... That her choice of church and her rapist-friendly stance on abortion were likely just political posturing. Only pathetic low-lifes with boring jobs actually believe in the rapture, I said.

It looks like I was wrong.

Pharyngula has a must-read report on a litany of Alaskan insiders lining up to dish the dirt on God's own VP candidate, including some eye-popping stuff from Salon:

"...Palin [was asked] if she truly believed in the End of Days, the doomsday scenario when the Messiah will return. "She looked in my eyes and said, 'Yes, I think I will see Jesus come back to earth in my lifetime.'"

Jesus frikkin' Christ on a bike.

There's lots more there about Palin pushing creationism, pissing off her constituents, and generally being an asshole. But don't take my word for it. Read it yourself.

Meanwhile, En Tequila point out that the lies pouring from John McCain's campaign team have gotten so blatant that even Fox News are outraged.

Wow. It really must be the End of Days.

Christians watch out! Cthulhu is coming and will eat you. Rexella Van Impe has more...



And finally... I've had quite a few hits from people looking for "what Rexella thinks of Sarah Palin". Well, I've been wondering about that myself... But as Rexella (and Jack's!) ministry is a non-profit religious outfit, and therefore forbidden from discussing politics. If anything changes and Rexella does express an opinion, you can be sure I'll report it here. For now, though, I think we can safely assume that Rexella hearts Sarah Palin.... Just as I heart Rexella :)

Rexella explains the Cthulhu Rapture

Everyone loves Dr. Rexella Van Impe. Here she explains what Christians can do to prepare for the Cthulhu Rapture [New Updated Version!]...




Sarah Palin doesn't believe in "The Rapture". Her church doesn't preach it. Either does the church she went to before that, or the one before that. She's never spoken on the subject.

So why bring this up? Because this week I've had loads of visitors searching for "sarah palin rapture". It's clearly a question on peoples' minds.

As for "The Rapture" itself, if I can paraphrase Lisa Simpson, how come the people who actually do believe in it are always pathetic low-lifes with boring jobs?

"Oh, and you, dad..."

Is Sarah Palin Rapture Ready?

Don't miss PTET's full SARAH PALIN coverage & rapture news!



Apparently one in four Americans though it was at least "somewhat likely" that Jesus would return to Earth in 2007. Unless I missed something, there's got to be a lot of disappointed people out there. Maybe next year?

In that vein, I wondered what God's own candidate for Vice President, Sarah Palin, thought of the matter. After all, if people are going to vote for her, it would be nice to know whether she'd intend sticking around for a whole four year term, or if she might vanish up at any moment, eaten by Cthulhu... Erm, I mean, taken up by the Lord.

A look around Google generated more heat than light on the topic. Sure, if she's not a "Dominionist Stalking Horse" she certainly looks like one...

And when you see Palin invoke God and the baby Jebus, as she did addressing her Church earlier this year, it's easy to suspect that she's a religious nut...



...But you know what? I don't buy that. I don't think Palin actually believes that "The Rapture" is imminent, or that Jebus wants world war three, or in teaching creationism or ID alongside evolution, or that rape vicims should be denied emergency contraception, or any of that bullshit.

I think Palin's cheer-leading for Christianity is political expediency, just as it is for Barak Obama and John McCain, and just as it was for George W. Bush.

Don't believe me? Then think what George W. Bush delivered for the evangelical community in the USA. Sweet F.A., that's what. That' also what a McCain/Palin presidency would deliver too.

Sure, if Palin actually does believe what her Church preaches about the End of Days and religion's proper role in American government, then everyone should be terrified. Luckily, I'm sure she doesn't.


UPDATE 9 SEPTEMBER:

'[Palin as Governor of Alaska] has basically ignored social issues, period," said Gregg Erickson, an economist and columnist for the Alaska Budget Report.' - Lake Wylie Pilot

Don't miss PTET's full SARAH PALIN coverage & rapture news!

Evolution Cthulhu Style

Who says evolution is purposeless?

Cthulhu is the Way!

HT: cthulhu.com.

Cthulhu is the Way

Hello. I am PTET.

Just recently, people from all over the world have been visiting my blog to see a picture I found of a little girl sitting on the lap of a cthulhoid monster.

I wondered if this was telling me something.

After all, everywhere we look we see signs of the end of days...

War...
Famine...
Pestilance...
The anti-christ walking the earth...

Personally, I think that all this interest in Cthulhu can only mean one thing. The time is coming for the Great Old One to rise from his lair deep beneath R'lyeh and to come at last and eat us all.

For it is written in the Necronomicon that at the proper time:-

"the secret priests would take great Cthulhu from His tomb to revive His subjects and resume His rule of earth....Then mankind would have become as the Great Old Ones; free and wild and beyond good and evil, with laws and morals thrown aside and all men shouting and killing and revelling in joy. Then the liberated Old Ones would teach them new ways to shout and kill and revel and enjoy themselves, and all the earth would flame with a holocaust of ecstasy and freedom."

Doesn't that sound like fun?


The thing I really like about Cthulhu is that his message is so simple: you are irrelevant and I will eat you.

There's no "five pillars" or "eight-fold path" to worry about. There's no "Jesus" and his bipolar Dad. If Jesus *does* come back, Cthulhu will eat him, just like he'll eat you.

Cthulhu doesn't care if you are black, white, brown or yellow. He loathes us all equally. But it's deeper than that - our very existence is irrelevant to him.

Cthulhu gives us a very simple choice. We can either worry so much about being rendered limb from limb in an orgy of unspeakable destruction that we go completely insane - or we can just get on with our lives.

It doesn't matter if bad things happen. If someone is nasty to you, just think "What would Cthulhu do"? He'd eat them. Just like he'll eat you.

So what can you do to prepare for Cthulhu's return? It doesn't matter. Whether you run away or line up for orderly disposal, he's going to eat you anyway.

In the meantime, we should live our lives well and responsibly... We're human, not monsters. And remember, never hurt anyone in Cthulhu's name. After all, our very hearts belong to him... Along with our lungs, spleens, livers, brains and kidneys.

Cthulhu is the way. Why choose the lesser evil?





If you're ready to accept your inevitable doom,
send in your comment or video now. Just say
"I'm ready to be eaten by Cthulhu".

Cthulhu loves the little children,
All the children of the world...
Baked or boiled, steamed or fried,
In the sauce or on the side,
Cthulhu loves the children of the world.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu
R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

Cthulhu loves the little children

WHY IS THIS PAGE SO POPULAR!?!?!?


READ CTHULHU IS THE WAY!!




This magnificent picture comes from a great article on soulless children's playgrounds in former communist countries. At least one artist there had some class... (HT: Popbitch).

Remember kids, it is foretold that at the proper time:

"the secret priests would take great Cthulhu from His tomb to revive His subjects and resume His rule of earth....Then mankind would have become as the Great Old Ones; free and wild and beyond good and evil, with laws and morals thrown aside and all men shouting and killing and revelling in joy. Then the liberated Old Ones would teach them new ways to shout and kill and revel and enjoy themselves, and all the earth would flame with a holocaust of ecstasy and freedom."

It's just like the Bible says.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!