"...I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me..." [Deuteronomy 5:8-10]

Thursday, July 29, 2004

HM Department of Vague Paranoia

...In an effort to worry the public and convince them to vote for us again next year, and because George Bush asked us to, this website includes the common sense advice found in the Preparing for Emergencies booklet, and information on what the government is doing to protect the country as a whole. (Hint: we're praying really, really hard.) National editions of the booklet will be available here when we can be arsed to get translators to put them into your crazy moon languages.

From 2nd August, translations of the booklet into 16 languages will be available on this website. They will be in : Arabic, Bengali, Chinese, English, Farsi, French, Greek, Gujarati, Hindi, Kurdish, Punjabi, Somali, Turkish, Urdu, Vietnamese and Welsh. In the meantime, just assume that we don't care about you...


A great parody, with a genuine response from the UK Government...

"Public safety is the Government's number one ten priority (the top three are reelection, kissing George Bush's arse, and stopping Gordon Brown becoming PM). We must be prepared to deal with any emergency, whatever it is or wherever it comes from. And that includes zombie attacks! And zombie pirate attacks! And killer robots! And both at the same time! Are YOU ready?"

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